


Through a Glass

by Whis



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 911week2020, F/F, TW: COVID-19
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25169863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whis/pseuds/Whis
Summary: Karen misses Hen.My small tribute to all the first responders and essential workers facing the COVID-19 and the families that have to see the toll that the pandemic is taking on them.911 Week 2020
Relationships: Henrietta "Hen" Wilson/Karen Wilson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely inspired by Through Glass by Stone Sour
> 
> Day 4: “Do you believe me?” + love

_I'm looking at you through the glass  
Don't know how much time has passed  
Oh God, it feels like forever  
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home  
Sitting all alone inside your head_

“Do you believe me?” Hen asked, and Hen had wanted to do so, she has never wanted anything else so much in her entire life. Hen is her wife, the love of her life. She wants to believe her, she needs to believe her. But how could she?

It has been months since the last time she saw her wife without a screen in the middle. 

As an essential worker, and someone who was in direct contact with people who could be carrying a deathly virus such as COVID-19, Hen -just like the rest of the 118- decided to confine herself at the station so she wouldn’t bring the virus to her family and friends. Most firefighters at the station did. 

At the moment it had seemed to be a temporary thing that would last only a couple of weeks, a month or so, something to keep their kids safe, so Karen has agreed, although it pained her. It pained everybody.

But now, almost 4 months into it the lockdown, with a pandemic that doesn’t seem to be getting any better, Karen just misses her wife. She wants to see her, touch her, kiss her… Instead of that, she has to settle for conversations through a screen and half lies.

“I’m fine, I promise you!” Hen repeats and Karen closes her eyes. She wants to believe her, but it’s hard to do so. Her wife is so thin and Karen has to sit there, in the safety of her home and see the love of her life getting thinner and thinner, eyes duller and duller, smile weaker and weaker.

Karen nods her own lie, smiles, and settles for a silent answer that she hopes it conveys everything she wants to share with Hen.

Someone coughs at the other side of the screen and Karen feels tears at the edge of her eyes, but she has to be strong and stomp her fears away.

Hen smiles, but it’s fake and sad and Karen feels her heart shatter once again.

“I love you,” Hen says before logging out…

And that, that Karen believes it. She knows it's true. She also loves her job, her team, and humankind. Hen, and everyone in that damm station, just like everybody working at hospitals, nursing homes, groceries... All of them, working against a clock and a virus without anything the need, without knowing what they are doing, what is next... They all are full of love and compassion, none of them would give up and stay at home. 

Nobody at the station would abandon when the world needs them the most.

Hen loves her and their family, that is why Hen is on the other side of the screen, at the other side of a world that seems unreal, that will never be the same.

Karen loves her too.

But she hates this new world and the uncertainty that comes with it, a love lived through a glass

_ How much is real? So much to question  
An epidemic of the mannequins  
Contaminating everything  
When the thought came from the heart  
It never did right from the start  
Just listen to the noises _


	2. Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hen lied to her wife

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 5: “It’s okay, you can cry.” + comfort

Hen closed her eyes and fought very hard against the tears threatening to fall. There is a lump in her throat and desperation engraved within her, so deep that she thinks it might never leave her.

She wants to cry, to yell, to break the fucking computer, the phone and the entire chaotic world that is keeping her away from the ones she loves the most.

Suddenly, there is a hand in her shoulder. It’s a weird feeling, the feeling of nothing. There are so many capes between their skin she can’t feel the warmth, she can’t remember the last time she felt the contact of human skin.

Buck’s presence is reassuring, but it’s not enough, nothing seems to be enough these days

He sats at her side and passes an arm over her shoulder, but all she wants to do is to yell at him because he is too close, they shouldn’t be this close. She knows it’s pointless and bullshit, after all, they spend the day working together, side by side. There is always capes of clothes and plastic and gear between them, it has to be there, even when they are at the station, and yet sometimes it feels like it’s not sufficient. They wash their hands a thousand times until their skin is raw and red, and shower another thousand times and wash their hair every day and yet sometimes it feels it’s not enough

“It’s okay Hen” her friend assures her, but it’s not okay, and Hen wonders if it will ever okay again.

She has been feeling like shit for a while now. She can’t eat, all the food tastes like a sack of salt, even drinking her coffee has became a torture, she is thinner than ever, she feels tired all the time and her skin burns and hurts so much she would gladly peel it off. She knows, everybody knows and she can only wait for the results of her test and pray to God nobody dies because of her.

“Cap says you should go to the bunk and rest, somebody else will go with Chim. We’ll get the results tomorrow”

“I lied to my wife,” she says, and Buck nods and tightens their embrace

“It’s okay, you can cry,” he says, but she shocks her head. She knows if she starts to cry now she won’t stop. She will never stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything I describe here it's inspired by my own experience, including Hen's symptoms

**Author's Note:**

> As a certified nursing assistant, I have been working against this damm virus for a long time. I've seen all kind of things and I myself had the virus and had to quarantine myself. It was scary for me and my family. We all are good now and things are getting back to normal in Spain (for now)  
> I don't know why this cute prompt inspired me this story, and why Karen, but I had the need to voice this side because after all the 118 are first responders and they'd be deeply affected, and we know our fire-fam, they wouldn't stay at home, and they wouldn't put their family in danger.  
> And please, please, please, wear a mask.


End file.
